The Eureka Moment

I used to hate dance class. Really.

When I was in theatre school, I had a class every day – either ballet, tap, jazz, or “performance” (which was learning a routine in any style/fusion as if in an audition setting). That class was my favorite because how you sold it was just as important as your technique. And when my grand jeté was not so grand, I was thankful that I could act my way out of it.

A dance class every day sounds pretty amazing, huh? Not for me. It was the part I dreaded most about theatre school. Try dancing beside people so talented that they could be crowned Canada’s Favorite Dancer, when you’re still trying to pronounce the word fouette correctly.

First thing on Monday mornings, they expected me to put on a tutu and take ballet. Ok, I didn’t have to wear a tutu, but who was I kidding? Nobody would mistake me for a prima ballerina, so why embarrass me by making me take this class? (And let me tell you, no amount of high-energy and big ol’ smiles can replace ballet technique, despite my attempts.)

“I’ll never be a ballerina, so why do I have to go?” I complained to my program director after he busted me for skipping. His reply, “It’s the foundation for all dance. Just go to class.”

So, I went to ballet. I hated every minute of it, but I went. It didn’t make sense to me – how to express myself in that style – but I went.

Fast forward some years and now, I love dance class. Why? Because I found salsa. It made sense!

Now, I love going to dance class, no matter what style. Even if I look like a complete nerd, I’ll bust out the house moves. Even if I look like I have two left feet, I’ll try a bollywood class…I’ll even go to ballet!

Was it the salsa music that changed my perception and helped me appreciate all types of dance class? I think there is definitely a little magic in the mambo…

Click for a flashback moment! “This is Fosse, honey. We don’t do 1-2-3s. We do ka-donks, ka-doonks and za-zas!”

The Fear

The motto You Only Live Once is embedded in every dance-related item out there. I see a Facebook post, a tweet or a flyer about how amazing an event is going to be; I read about how beneficial a workshop would be to further develop my skills; I see pictures of friends having a blast at a party...

All of these messages are basically shouting, "Come on! You only live once (YOLO!) so enjoy! All your friends are going and you'll be disappointed if you miss out!"

But realistically, I can’t go to every event or social when I want to enjoy activities and relationships outside of dance (and sometimes, a really, really good rerun of Golden Girls is on, and no amount of “likes” on a Facebook post will get me out of my PJs). Some people take it as a personal attack if I don’t show up to their gig for a while, but I eventually make my way back, ‘cuz you know, I like that dancing stuff.

However, in my absence, something always seemed to creep up on me: FOMO.

Do you ever get that? FOMO – otherwise known as the Fear of Missing Out.

You rationalize that you’ve been to what feels like a million of these socials and events, and missing one or two won’t matter. But as soon as you read your Facebook pal’s check-in, you start to wonder if you made a colossal mistake by attempting to have a life outside of salsa. Ahh FOMO!

Yet, isn’t Facebook (and Twitter, Tumblr, and maybe one day – if Justin Timberlake has anything to say about it – MySpace 2.0) designed to make us feel like our lives suck? I mean, people highlight the best of their life, not their worst. Ok fine, social media isn’t designed to make us feel like shit, but a study published earlier this year says the more you use Facebook, the more likely you are to believe that other people lead happier and better lives than you do. And that, my friends, is what fuels FOMO.

So, how do we put a stop to FOMO? Go to every single event, congress, club and social, even if it means we neglect our jobs, or family, or bank account balance? Delete our social networking sites entirely?

How about this: we just simply enjoy wherever life takes us, even if the sound of the clave won’t be heard that day…we just simply accept that even if the pictures we see of a salsa event look fantastic, there will soon be another party we can go to. We can just simply let go of the fear…because life is meant to be enjoyed.

Signed,

Confessions of an ex-FOMO-victim social dancer

Is Skin Still In?

“Call me old fashioned, but I believe you can put on a beautiful and memorable salsa show without having to show skin. Sometimes what is invisible to the eye is what is sexier.”

– Ana Masacote (Source: Facebook)

Raise your hand if you think salsa dancing is synonymous with sex? I asked a few people in my office to describe what they envision when they think of salsa dancing. The responses were variations of “girls in short skirts dancing sexy” ...not that there is anything wrong with that, but Ana’s thoughts emphasized that all too often, stage shows focus on this stereotype – men fully clothed while the women wear skimpy costumes.

Could it be that these groups are covering up something – like weak technique – with the illusion of skin? Or are they relying on the tradition of the over-sexualized female salsa stereotype for lack of confidence to break the mold?

Yes, I know there's an expectation to “dress the part” and it’s all part of the entertainment value – however, I really admire performers who go beyond the expected.

Take a look at Masacote Dance Co’s recent performance from the Boston Salsa Festival:

Notice something? No bouncing cleavage. No ass hanging out. Instead, we see costumes that are feminine yet don’t distract from the movement. Here, the emphasis is on the artistry of the dance. It’s still incredibly hot as hell, but the sexiness comes from their attitude and movement, not their clothing. The ladies exude confidence and strength. They present a subtle sensuality with just the right amount of flirt that makes this performance truly “sexy”.  

Kudos to Masacote Dance Co for showing the salsa world that less (skin) can indeed be more.

Relax. It’s Just About Sex.

I have absolutely no problem when a handsome stranger pulls me in close for a seductive bachata, but if that same good-looking guy pulls me in close at a regular club, my Catholic schoolgirl guilt always comes out.

I try to rationalize that in bachata, there is dance technique involved and this guy I don’t know pressing his body so close to mine is doing it to honour the dance…but really, I should stop kidding myself and relax. It’s always just about sex, no matter what soundtrack is on.

So whatever song is playing, whatever club you are in, just go with it sans guilt. A little fun with your clothes on never hurt anybody. ;)

Giving Up Salsa…For Now

Every year around this time, I go on a salsa fast. I give up most of my salsa nights in exchange for summer fun in the sun and activities that “regular” people (non-salseros) do.

Remember that? When we used to go to the movies on a Tuesday, not dance…when we used to go to clubs where the most impressive dance move was keeping your balance after the fifth shot of tequila...when we blasted the beats in the car driving up to the cottage instead of bachata…

It doesn’t mean I hate salsa. A salsa fast brings me back refreshed and excited to dance, and helps me appreciate the music so much more.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve gone without dancing?

Play Me That Sweet Music

We all know DJs can make or break our night of dancing. We social dancers can definitely tell the difference between someone who just throws on a random playlist, to the DJ that transforms a room of people into a sweaty hot mess of salsa happiness.
 
I think it's a must for salsa DJs to have extensive knowledge of the music and artists. Part of the job is to educate the dancers -- I mean, if it weren't for the salsa DJs, I'd still be dancing to Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5!
 
Technical ability to optimize the sound system is a great addition to the skill set of a good DJ, but along with a good ear, the kick-ass DJ must use his/her eyes to see what is happening on the dance floor. The best-of-the-best play to the crowd's vibe, while gently guiding the dancers into new directions of energy through song selection.
 
OK, so we praise the DJ...but why do we get so excited (or not excited, depending on our tastes) when we hear a certain DJ is spinning, but lack the same enthusiasm when a live band is playing?
 
When it's an accomplished group of musicians (world famous or local pride) I really appreciate the experience. One of my most memorable salsa moments was when I was in Santiago de Cuba. That’s when my dancing transformed from a hobby into a passion…ok fine, it might have been a mixture of the mojitos and the hot man I was with, but seriously, dancing to live music is a real treat.
 
Just listen to the delivery of each instrument, and then listen to how each musician blends with the other, using their keen ears for even the tiniest variation of pitch, volume and beat....relish in the phrasing of each instrument...bathe in the art.

I know what some of you are thinking right now..."Live bands play songs that are too long" ...and all I have to say to that is, shut up and do some more cardio. Live music is the best! :)

Why Do Salseras Have So Many Dance Shoes?

I've always been rough.

When my mom was pregnant with me, I kicked so much that she was convinced I would be a boy (and a soccer player) because I was rough. When I played with the neighbourhood kids, I was usually hanging with the boys because I was rough.

So, it's really no surprise that I'm rough on my dance shoes. It doesn't matter if I wear a high-end dance shoe or a cheap brand, I go through a pair in a couple of months, easy. I never get lured in by the oh-so-pretty expensive kinds because I pitch them so fast.

In addition to the wear and tear, there is another reason us ladies need so many pairs of shoes...'cause after a while, they start to stink! Hey, I'm not saying I'm a smelly girl, but ask any salsera and dance shoe stank is an annoying thing to deal with.

I've tried every trick in the book to get rid of the smell: baking soda; Febreze, shoe deodorizer; stuffing fabric softener sheets in each shoe; putting them in the freezer (because I heard the cold will kill the bacteria...no, didn't work); and even just thinking that if I throw them in a corner and don't wear them for a few weeks, the stank smell will disappear forever (nope, it doesn't).

And that's why salseras have so many dance shoes.