The Eureka Moment

I used to hate dance class. Really.

When I was in theatre school, I had a class every day – either ballet, tap, jazz, or “performance” (which was learning a routine in any style/fusion as if in an audition setting). That class was my favorite because how you sold it was just as important as your technique. And when my grand jeté was not so grand, I was thankful that I could act my way out of it.

A dance class every day sounds pretty amazing, huh? Not for me. It was the part I dreaded most about theatre school. Try dancing beside people so talented that they could be crowned Canada’s Favorite Dancer, when you’re still trying to pronounce the word fouette correctly.

First thing on Monday mornings, they expected me to put on a tutu and take ballet. Ok, I didn’t have to wear a tutu, but who was I kidding? Nobody would mistake me for a prima ballerina, so why embarrass me by making me take this class? (And let me tell you, no amount of high-energy and big ol’ smiles can replace ballet technique, despite my attempts.)

“I’ll never be a ballerina, so why do I have to go?” I complained to my program director after he busted me for skipping. His reply, “It’s the foundation for all dance. Just go to class.”

So, I went to ballet. I hated every minute of it, but I went. It didn’t make sense to me – how to express myself in that style – but I went.

Fast forward some years and now, I love dance class. Why? Because I found salsa. It made sense!

Now, I love going to dance class, no matter what style. Even if I look like a complete nerd, I’ll bust out the house moves. Even if I look like I have two left feet, I’ll try a bollywood class…I’ll even go to ballet!

Was it the salsa music that changed my perception and helped me appreciate all types of dance class? I think there is definitely a little magic in the mambo…

Click for a flashback moment! “This is Fosse, honey. We don’t do 1-2-3s. We do ka-donks, ka-doonks and za-zas!”

The Fear

The motto You Only Live Once is embedded in every dance-related item out there. I see a Facebook post, a tweet or a flyer about how amazing an event is going to be; I read about how beneficial a workshop would be to further develop my skills; I see pictures of friends having a blast at a party...

All of these messages are basically shouting, "Come on! You only live once (YOLO!) so enjoy! All your friends are going and you'll be disappointed if you miss out!"

But realistically, I can’t go to every event or social when I want to enjoy activities and relationships outside of dance (and sometimes, a really, really good rerun of Golden Girls is on, and no amount of “likes” on a Facebook post will get me out of my PJs). Some people take it as a personal attack if I don’t show up to their gig for a while, but I eventually make my way back, ‘cuz you know, I like that dancing stuff.

However, in my absence, something always seemed to creep up on me: FOMO.

Do you ever get that? FOMO – otherwise known as the Fear of Missing Out.

You rationalize that you’ve been to what feels like a million of these socials and events, and missing one or two won’t matter. But as soon as you read your Facebook pal’s check-in, you start to wonder if you made a colossal mistake by attempting to have a life outside of salsa. Ahh FOMO!

Yet, isn’t Facebook (and Twitter, Tumblr, and maybe one day – if Justin Timberlake has anything to say about it – MySpace 2.0) designed to make us feel like our lives suck? I mean, people highlight the best of their life, not their worst. Ok fine, social media isn’t designed to make us feel like shit, but a study published earlier this year says the more you use Facebook, the more likely you are to believe that other people lead happier and better lives than you do. And that, my friends, is what fuels FOMO.

So, how do we put a stop to FOMO? Go to every single event, congress, club and social, even if it means we neglect our jobs, or family, or bank account balance? Delete our social networking sites entirely?

How about this: we just simply enjoy wherever life takes us, even if the sound of the clave won’t be heard that day…we just simply accept that even if the pictures we see of a salsa event look fantastic, there will soon be another party we can go to. We can just simply let go of the fear…because life is meant to be enjoyed.

Signed,

Confessions of an ex-FOMO-victim social dancer