The Interrupters

When you see two people in the club standing closely, face-to-face, bodies turned away from the dance floor (far, far from the dance floor actually) what does that tell you?

Body language experts may determine that they don't want to dance at that moment. Maybe because they are having an engaging conversation. Well, I'm no body language expert, but that would be my guess. Yet, what boggles my mind is how many people misread this to be the equivalent of waving a giant flag that says, "I'm begging you! Please rip me away from this person I'm talking to."



Doug Butabi: So... you want to dance?
Girl: We're not in the club yet.

Take the other night. Me and a couple of friends were interrupted several times by guys who "misread" our body language...yeah, as if sitting at a table in the corner with our backs to the dance floor is playing hard-to-get or something.

But men are not the only ones who do this. Women do it, too. I've even witnessed a women pounce on a guy who was still at coat check.

So what could this mean? Are there really not enough people coming out to dance that we have to grab at anyone in the room? Or maybe these interrupters just really, really want to dance.

I can understand their plight. Some nights my mantra is "no talk, must dance" too. But to the extreme interrupters -- the people who come back again and again within a five minute time frame -- when we say "not at this time, I'm talking to my friend" -- we aren't kidding. Watch the body language. It'll save you a few trips :)

Is Cha Cha Really That Intimidating?

A packed dance floor is suddenly a little bit roomier when a cha cha track comes on – or at least, I've often noticed this trend at socials, clubs and congresses.

Surprisingly, a few of the most accomplished salseros I know have prefaced our dance with something like “I’m not very good at cha cha” – even though our cha cha turned out to be delightful!

So what’s the deal here? Is cha cha really all that intimidating? I gotta know, so take the poll!

Update July 5: Of the 30 people that voted, 66% say that they love cha cha (and not intimidated).

How to Make It Feel like It’s the First Time

I had a very close friend who I used to dance with almost daily. We went to clubs several nights a week, took the same salsa classes, and were on the same dance team. We endlessly practiced turn patterns in my living room (how this kid had energy to practice at 3 a.m. after a night of partying, I’ll never know), while waiting in line at the store…needless to say, I soon could predict his every move, and he knew exactly how I would style in any given moment.

Fun turned into predictable. Predictable turned into boring. Our salsa chemistry had faded.

One night, we decided to go dancing. Not many people were out, so we danced with each other the majority of the evening.  After about the sixth or seventh salsa, I knew I had to take the matter into my own hands.

And then I did it. I hijacked the dance.  I took over the lead.

His eyes widened with a look of complete shock, because I was always such an obedient salsa follower. Then, he smiled and put me into a turn-pattern that was completely unexpected. It was my turn to smile! That dance with a familiar partner felt just like the first time we danced with each other – new and exciting.

Hello Jack! Check out this video...

Please Excuse Me. I'm Wearing Flats Today.

To heel or not to heel? Considering I can't walk into a store and not come out without at least three pairs of high-heeled salsa shoes, that seem like a ridiculous question. However, every once in a while, that little voice inside my head begs for me to keep the high-heeled kicks in the shoe bag.

Now before you jump to conclusions, I'm not whining about sore feet. If you burn up the dance floor in heels several nights a week, it's kind of assumed your soles will ache. Sore feet mean you had an amazing night of dancing, so that's not the issue here. What I'm talking about is the obligation of heels...

What? Did I just say obligation?

Yup.

The obligation I feel I am faced with as a salsera is the expectation to be "sexy" on the dance floor. Well, who says I can't be sexy in flats? The music is supposed to inspire my movement, not my footwear. It shouldn't matter if I wear sneakers or stilettos, right?

But maybe the real question that little voice inside my head is asking is why do I always have to project "sexy" when I'm salsa dancing? Yeah, yeah, salsa is supposed to be sexy, but why does salsa have to be synonymous with that word? I don't know about you, but I don't always move my body with the sexiest of intensions. Depending on the song, I’m sometimes inspired to be silly. Other times, I'm motivated to be a little funky in my movement. And if I have a dance partner that is willing to be playful, our dance has so many, many more layers than your stereotypical "sexy."

Salsa is an expression of so many attitudes, and I really enjoy discovering all of those different attitudes...sometimes in heels, and sometimes in flats!

The Sexy Stranger Bachata Experience

It was one of the those nights where I wasn’t expecting much – just go out and have a few dances, maybe chat with some people and keep it to an early night – but little did I know, I would have the “sexy stranger bachata experience” – and Oh. My. God. It was hot!

Definition of the sexy stranger bachata experience:

• You've never seen this person before in the clubs - not even on Facebook.
• You don't remember who asked who, but somehow you ended up in each other's arms and it feels ooooh so right.
• The “I'll-keep-a-polite-distance-until-at-least-our-third-bachata” rule goes out the window. Grinding? Dirty dancing? Whatever it's called, it's hot, and you want more.
• You haven't seen this person out at the club since :(

I'm still thinking about that steamy bachata and the mystery bachatero...maybe I’ll find him again tonight ;)