Happy Scene, Happy Dancers

Who wants the dancing scene to be a healthy one where we all feel comfortable and happy? I do, I do!

Our community can flourish or flounder, depending on our attitude. So, to keep the local (and international) dancing scene a positive and vibrant one...

Be friendly: Say hi! A simple acknowledgment to your fellow dancers brings a warm energy into the room.

Be supportive: If you want people to support your initiative, make sure you demonstrate your appreciation. You may also want to consider sending back some love by supporting the endeavors of others. And by others, I don't mean only those who you have a business partnership with. Don't forget about your past and present supporters who may have some achievement outside of dance that you can encourage. Let's share the love and be the definition of the word "community."

Be secure: There will always be another club, event or school…there will always be strong competitors or performers among you...there will always be great dancers sharing the floor with you…Be secure with what you offer and focus on you. Be the best you can be and all will be fine.

Be open-minded: Mingle! Interact with others. Step out of your comfort zone. Dance with someone new. Try a different genre.  Check out classes, socials, club nights and events that you have skipped in the past… being open and accepting of change can lead to wonderful things.

Be understanding:  Social dancers can’t be at every party. We do our best to show our support to as many as we can, but understand we also need balance with other activities or commitments (plus, our families and friends outside of the scene miss us, too).

Be real: Cheers to those who don’t offer false friendship to make a quick buck.

And remember: Inflated egos are not attractive; a gracious attitude is.

Also, don’t forget: Always give good and hot bachata…Ok, that last point was specific to me, but guys, take note LOL ;)

Do You Speak Zouk?

I speak fluent mambo. I also speak a lot of the other social dances, but whenever I try to dance zouk, I feel like I’m speaking a different, difficult language.

When I first heard about zouk a couple of years ago, I resisted. While I thought the music had a good vibe, it seemed way too relaxed compared to the familiar Latin beats. I’ll admit, I was skeptical if I would feel energized dancing to it all night – that, and I thought the dance was all about whipping your hair around. But my friends were posting more and more videos online of beautiful routines, demos and songs and my opinions started to shift.

I checked out a couple of drop-in classes and immediately jumped right into a weekend intensive to learn from a great talent straight from Brazil…but now a year has passed and my zouk-speak is still in its infancy.

Why?

Because I don’t want to be a beginner again!

My body can’t seem to find the groove of zouk like it did when I started salsa. I’m stiff! And I know I’ll be in “beginner hell” for a long time…so, I’ve been taking the easy way out – skipping out on socials or chatting with friends during a zouk set, avoiding the gamble of leaving my comfort zone.

It’s time to stop hiding behind the familiar and challenge myself to explore this new language some more. I’ve already taken my first zouk baby-steps – wonder what my first word will be?

Creepy or Not Creepy?

When he stares intensely into your eyes during your dance...creepy or not creepy?

When he whispers suggestive things in your ear...creepy or not creepy?

When he presses up so close to you that you can feel his iphone in his front pocket...wait, that's not an iphone! ...creepy or not creepy?

I guess it all depends on if you are attracted to the guy or not. Ah yes, "creepy" is in the eye of the beholder. But wait, can women be creepy?

When she watches his every move and starts yelling and throwing her drink if he dances a little too close to another woman (ah, young love)...creepy.

Or the girl who's eyes are like daggers (ah, stage-five clingers)...she's the one that has it out for any girl seen talking or dancing with the object of her unhealthy obsession...creepy.

Or the chick who thinks everyone is jealous of her talent and looks, and boasts about it. Nope, she just has inept social skills and is a bitch...this type is creepy and just plain sad.

But perhaps the worst type of creep one can encounter in the social dancing scene is the one who hides behind the internet – the creep that creates fake accounts to anonymously trash others, the creep that sends harassing  messages for no logical (or sane) reason but to fuel his sociopathy...yup, I've seen and heard it all.

Moral of the story? Don't be a creep! Assholes are way more likable ;)

Can Dancing Really Chase the Blues Away?



But cute cat pictures may do it for YOU, so I won’t judge…



You know, keeping up a cheery disposition is exhausting work. Sometimes it’s just not that easy to get yourself into a happy frame of mind, no matter how many inspiring quotes are on our Facebook news feeds. (Sorry, pictures of cute cats are not going to cut it, either.)

Maybe you’ve had an argument with someone, or your boss is stressing you out, or your significant other is acting like a jackass…or you’re simply just having a disappointing day.

So, what does it take to feel better? Can dancing really chase the blues away?

Ok, some people may consider it a quick fix and not the answer to life’s problems, but move your body a little and somehow things seem to feel a bit better. Pair that up with some great tunes and we may just have a recipe for healing the heavy heart.  

So what do you have to lose? You can either sit at home all miserable, eating Cheetos and watching Snookie flash her cooka on Jersey Shore (well, that show can actually make anyone feel better about themselves, but that’s another story) or you can go out and dance some love back into your heart.



Dump the Insecurity

We’ve all at some time or another been lost in the music. Our favorite track comes on, the melody swells and our moves have an energy that only a good song can command.

I was enjoying this exact feeling the other night (of course to a bachata track, my weakness) when I realized the DJ started to play another song…a song that brought on different kinds of feelings…like embarrassment, insecurity, even a twinge of anxiety.

I was dancing to my own voice.

I should have anticipated that there was a chance he would play my track – we recorded it together after all – but it still took me by surprise. People were going to hear it outside of our Facebook friends? At the club…gulp…in public?

So there I am, trying to dance my way through it and there’s my partner, just doing his thing, not even breaking rhythm. Didn’t he know how mortified I was? People assume I’m not shy because I’ve performed in many theatrical productions, including a handful of salsa routines. I’m a bit of a social butterfly too, but let me tell you, my childhood habit of burying my head in my arms came back, but this time, I hid my embarrassment in my partner’s neck and gave a little squeal.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked. He didn’t even know it was my track we were dancing to. I looked around the room, expecting people to walk off the dance floor in disappointment, but people were still dancing.

I was stressing over nothing.

By the end of the song, I almost forgot how vulnerable I was feeling. (My partner was so smooth, he has that effect on women ha-ha!)

That experience made me think of the times I stressed about people potentially criticizing my salsa performance or social dancing. I was able to eventually dismiss those insecurities because I realized it didn’t matter what others thought. I don’t dance for the approval of others; I dance to express my joy.

May you all find joy on the dance floor tonight.

I'm shy, but if you want to watch the video and listen... :)

Drink Up, Bitches

When I first started salsa dancing six years ago, I gave myself a rule: no drinking and dancing. Spinning while tipsy scared the shit out of me. Visions of crashing into the couples around me prevented me from taking more than two sips of booze.

But as time went on, I tested those boundaries — not because my technique improved and I thought I could handle it, but because I really wanted to have some drinks with friends!

So, you find yourself beyond tipsy. You're sloppy and perhaps half a cocktail away from being Lindsay Lohan. No amount of training and technique can compensate for the amount of liquor you drank, but you still want to dance!

1) Plan ahead. Wardrobe malfunctions are 52% more likely to occur when you are drunk, and it's always wise to keep Victoria's Secret if you know what I mean. Best to wear something you've danced in before and you know won't slip off. (Ok fine, I made up that statistic, but trust me, flashing your partner and not even realizing it until the song is over can be embarrassing once you sober up...but on the upside, at least you'll be memorable).

2) Avoid fast songs where possible. Your compromised hand-eye coordination will surely result in an elbow in his eye. Plus, move around too fast and you risk puking all over your new salsa shoes.  Not pretty. Stick to slow tracks.

3) It's the perfect opportunity to get your bachata on. Bachata always feels good...mmm, bachata...

4) If you’re at a club and they play merengue, let go of any thoughts that it's not a challenging enough dance and just have some fun! You're in no condition to handle challenging moves anyway, so don't hate on merengue. Same goes with reggaeton.

5) If all else fails, wiggle your hips while you have another drink. Hey, that's technically still dancing!

I Like To Kiss

I like to kiss. It comes naturally for me to kiss (and hug) someone hello and goodbye. I grew up in a very affectionate Italian household and was even taught at a young age that it would be bad news if I didn’t go kiss my aunts and uncles hello.

So, it feels completely normal to continue with this habit in the salsa scene, since salseros have also embraced the custom. I’m talking about the kiss on each cheek when you see your friend. I don’t like the one-cheek kiss, which feels so unfinished. For me, a one-cheek kiss feels like the music stopped midway through a cross-body lead, so it has to be two kisses! Left to right or right to left, I don’t really have a preference, but I don’t like the air kiss – you know the kind – with the fake muah muah sounds. A little smooch sound is cute and expected, but it’s a dead giveaway that someone’s going through the motions when it sounds like a cartoon.

That’s why it’s best to give the kiss greeting because you want to, not because everyone else is doing it. If it’s not in your personality to give that type of hello, for the love of salsa, please don’t fake it! Give a wave, a playful punch on the arm, stick your tongue out and make a funny face – anything other than a fake kiss hello.

But I’ll admit, I’ve faked it.

Sometimes, I show up somewhere and it feels like I’m caught in a receiving line at a wedding – because I know everybody there and then I have to make my way through the people to give a “proper” hello. (That damn Italian upbringing. Ha-ha!)

Even thought I like to give a kiss hello to my friends, not everyone I know is comfortable with that much affection, so I don’t get offended. I just give ‘em my biggest smile. But these are the same guys who like to dirty bachata with me, so who knows what the rules are anymore!



 ELAINE: What is the big deal about putting your lips on somebody's face?

           JERRY: It's the obligation, you know? As soon as this person comes in, you know you have to  do this. I mean, if you could, say, touch a breast as part of the kiss hello, then I think I could see the value in it a little better.